Written in the Stars?

According to dictionary.com the definition of fate is: the universal principle or ultimate agency by which the order of things is presumably prescribed; the decreed cause of events; time. And karma: the cosmic principle according to which each person is rewarded or punished in one incarnation according to that person's deeds in the previous incarnation. Karma also references fate. Can you believe in them both? For instance, should I believe that it is simply my fate to have lived the life that I have so far. Or did something happen in my past life that predestines that I will have this road to follow? Or maybe it's both....maybe in my past life I did something so horrible that I am fated to live this life full of obstacles and bad luck......at times, it makes my head spin.

Last night, I was trying, in vain, to see the Comet Lulin. I was never good at astronomy and am not sure how I got a B in it in college. I can find the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper, but little else. My husband, the loving man that he is, humored me and would walk outside to the snow covered, ice encrusted driveway and look up at the heavens with me. We'd look to where I thought ESE is in the sky...searching valiantly for Saturn and Regulus. The temperature dipped into the teens and single digits, and still we'd be standing in the driveway all bundled up looking for the green comet. Each time, I'd resolve to go back onto the computer, consult a geek friend (not to worry, Mid is a self-described geek) and look at star charts on the internet trying to find a reference point.

On our third trip outside, Kip found Orion's belt! Finally, I had a reference point! Back into the warm house we trekked. Back to the computer. OK, if we locate Orion's Belt and I track the stars this way, I should see the constellation Leo....the symbol of my zodiac. Regulus is the front paw of Leo. Saturn can loosely be described as the back paw. And if you draw a somewhat straight line between the two, you should be able to see Comet Lulin.

So, out we go....one more time...into the cold, cold air to look again. Orion's belt, look back towards my neighbors house and slowly, I can actually see Leo!!! For the first time in my life, I can see Leo!!! For the first time in my life, I found a constellation! There was a small, non-descript "star" where the comet should have been, but it was not clear if it was Lulin.

As we walk back inside, my husband notes how he sometimes really enjoys my childlike exuberance and determination. That thought followed me through my evening and slumber. And today, it's a little bit clearer. What's going on in my life might be written in the stars, it might be fated and it just might be karma, but whatever it is, it's mine. And I need to take that determination and exuberance, match it with my rock solid support from my husband and family...and I need to overcome whatever is thrown at me! I'm not alone in this struggle. It's not just me dealing with all of this.

Even though, I sometimes feel like I'm the only one in the world and that I'm on the outside looking in.....I'm really not. And for that, I'm extremely grateful.