Music is the soul of life...at least that's my opinion. For every single major moment of my life, there's a song associated with it. Some are musically brilliant songs, some aren't great musically, but their message is clear. When I think about meeting my husband "Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You" by Glen Medeiros. Our wedding: "Right Here Waiting" by Richard Marx. The death of my grandmother "I Will Remember You" and "Angel" by Sarah Mclachlan. When I'm angry "Winter" by Vivaldi. When I need peace "Mozart's Clarinet Concerto" uh...by Mozart, I think. I could go on and on and on. Sometimes I'm not even aware that these songs have these connections for me. The song plays and I instantly go there...suspended in time for a few moments.
I've recently rediscovered my interest in playing and performing music. This is due in part to a few people in my life encouraging me to do so. It was hard to allow myself this "me time" at first. After all, I should be coming home from work and ensuring that my family is taken care of. Now, one night a week, I work late (later than normal for those that are rolling their eyes) and head to rehearsal, not returning home until after 10pm. A long day in the middle of the week....but for two hours I'm lost in a world that exists only for me. In my younger years, that place that I went to was my sanctuary. I could escape the drama of my daily life and forget it existed. It was my place to feel safe, normal, sane, valued, and most of all....complete.
My life, for the most part, is great! I'm surrounded by people who, individually speak to a specific part of who I am (something I'm still learning); and collectively, help me feel whole. I've got the friend that I can go and vent to...because the over-analytical me needs this outlet. I've got the friend who's been by my side for over 22 years....because he knows me better than I know myself sometimes and is my soul mate. I've got the friend who won't allow me to be self-destructive...because that's one of my worst qualities. I've got the friend who encourages me to push deeper into my thoughts/feelings/experiences....because he recognizes that this is a journey that I must take to evolve my spiritual self. I've got the friends who make me laugh so hard I cry and make me feel younger than I am...because our children should help us remember and recapture parts of our youth...especially if your youth never existed. Again, another list that can go on and on. But together, these people, help me see my life through different lenses and help me understand the path that I'm taking.
There are sometimes conflicts and drama with each friend, between sets of friends, or inside myself....conflicts and drama can be very important learning tools. But, after a little over 37 years on Earth, I'm finally beginning to feel whole. Now, to hold my breathe and fight off the feelings of imminent demise....that's my next obstacle.
What song is stuck in your head?
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