Mid-Life Crisis or Growing Into Me?

Happy Halloween Weekend!!!!

Much has been going on dear reader...stuff I want to share...and stuff I think I'll keep to myself for now. At times in the last few months since my last post, I've thought that I have been going through a crisis...a crisis of conscious? a crisis of identity? a crisis of too many things to do at one time? Perhaps an early mid-life crisis. I've found myself doing some out of character things...and I thought, for a short time, that I was really starting to lose it. I mean really, I've been through the whole "Who Am I?" phase that women in my position suffer from. In fact, I've been through it a few times...and each time, I never push past through to the answer. Why is that? What's stopping me? Am I afraid???? And if I'm afraid....what the hell am I afraid of?

But over the last few weeks, something has been happening in my life that has allowed me to view myself from a different perspective. A good perspective...it's not always a pleasant perspective. And, it's not always a bad perspective. But, it's always an honest perspective. And I appreciate honesty above all else. I'm at a good place in most of my relationships. Now, I need to find a good place in the relationship that means the most....the one with myself!

And now for the growing into me portion of my post....this weekend I went to this fantastic Halloween Party! I wore an awesome costume, flirted with a Scotsman, danced with a middle-age Charlie Brown, kissed a middle aged Lucy, battled a cave woman, sailed away with Captain Jack Sparrow and even found time to get my nose pierced! Yes, I got a nose piercing...I'm 37 years old and dammit...I think they look cool and I wanted one. So, I got one. It hurt like hell when the needle was pushed through...and I think I called the piercer a son of a bitch...but I did something that I wanted to do for me...and didn't care what people thought about it....and you know what...it felt awesome! Perhaps, I'm finally starting to grow into me.