I woke up this morning and there was a light blanket of snow on the cars, the grass, the trees.  While being cold is my least favorite thing....the blanket of snow against the darker colors fills me with calmness.  And believe me...calmness is something that is hard for me to find. 

A lot of things have changed for me in the past year....a lot of good and some not so good.  I'm trying to focus on the good...I've got good that I can share: an awesome job with an awesome boss, great new friends that make me smile daily, two young men I'm very proud to call "son", a super supportive husband.  And I've got good that I can't share (yah...nice try reader, I'm not going to list them!) It's the good that I can't share that drives me the most insane. 

You see, I spent many, many years in a very negative, non-productive environment...and through it all, I maintained a positive aspect on life.  I had to...or the weight of my young world would have crushed me...shrunken me...shattered me into a million pieces.  I look back at the things I survived with amazement...how did I end up "OK"?  As I moved onto a new phase in my life...wife, mother...those positive thoughts started to become more difficult to find.  I don't know if it was the result of looking for the bright side for so long that I finally had to give in and see the dark...or if it was the change in circumstances.  All I know is that I spent many years miserable, focusing on the negative parts of my life. 

So now, I've got some good happening...things that make me smile in the middle of the day for no reason...and I want to shout them out to the whole world and I can't?  Irony at it's best, dear reader.  So, for my friends who read this and actually get to see me in person...if at some random moment...you see a smile spread across my face...just know that I've gone to a happy place...a place that I may or may not be able to share with you....and a place that some of you are responsible for.