If I water them, will they grow???

****Posted from my Myspace blog****


For those of you that know me...you know two essential things about me. One, I HATE to shop! And two, I am anything but a girly girl!!! So, today I went to Walmart...god i HATE that store...to get stuff for my upcoming trip. I was due for a rationing of underwear, bras, socks and such. And, while I have my super sexy thongs and do love the new boxers for women...it's much cheaper to buy cotton, low-rise, bikini underwear. Not being a small person. I have to get large size underwear. Now, let me first ask:

How many TALL fat women do you know???? I don't know many. So why???? why???? why are the underwear for fat women WAY at the top. At one point I considered taking my 10 year old son onto my shoulders and having him get them for me. But he refused to touch the packages.

So, I'm standing there. Going from Hanes Her Way to Fruit of the Loom Just Her Style (or whatever.) Comparing prices, colors, style. I don't want just white...a woman should have a few pairs of those, but 6 is way too virginal for me. They didn't have any packages with black. All they had was PINK, POLKA DOTS, PLAID, WHITE, LAVENDER, SKY BLUE. So now I ask....who the hell thinks that ALL women want to wear girlie type underwear. I don't want FLOWERS ON MY ASS. First, there's nothing pretty about my ass. Second, if my husband saw me in them he'd fall on the floor laughing and repeating...if I water them, will they grow??? Third, get a grip you male run feminine products industry idiots!!! Not all women like flowers, pink or those little bows in their cleavage. Some of us want PLAIN underwear. PLAIN bras...and colors other than fru fru colors.

Now, excuse me...my husband started the outdoor fireplace for me to burn the pink, purple, and blue polka dotted underwear.....it killed me to even buy the package!!!

Vanity

Well, I have this friend who's bound and determine to turn me into a techie....i mean BOUND and DETERMINED. He's had some pretty funny blogs that I've been dying to comment on...but just didn't want to have another thing (ie Twitter, Myspace, email, work email, a BLOG) to check up on each night. So what does he do???? He posts a blog that indirectly references me. So...NOW...I HAVE TO BEGIN A BLOG SO I CAN COMMENT ON HIS!!! I knew he'd find a way (my vanity) to get me to start a blog here. Thanks Mid!!!!