Balance

Hello dear Reader,  it's been awhile, I know.  Suffice it to say that June 2012 to November 2013 was a very, very trying time for me.  Finances were a mess.  We moved not once, not twice, not three times...but four times. I got diagnosed with degenerative disc disease after being in excruciating pain for weeks. I finally quit that horrible company I worked for.  I started a new job. My oldest son entered his adulthood by joining the US Navy.  And perhaps most importantly, my father passed away.

Life sucked.  Nothing seemed to be good. Everything was crashing down around me and I didn't know where to turn. Some friendships turned out to be very disappointing.  The loss of my dad and my oldest son, my "mini me," leaving for his new adventures left me looking at the rest of my life and wondering just what the hell was I going to do.  How to move forward? How to make sense of all the chaos?

Balance was the key....I needed to find balance. I needed to balance the good with the bad.  I need to take an inventory of people, things, stuff in my life and see where each lay.  And I found that so much stuff was on the bad side that I was constantly falling off my personal, metaphysical, balance beam.

Step 1: Remove the bad stuff you CAN control.  I ended some relationships that were very toxic. I tackled some financial stuff. I ended employment with a company that cared less about it's human capital than a Chinese sweatshop. I uncluttered my life physically by getting rid of unwanted stuff in my living space. I stopped a lifestyle choice that wasn't working for me or my family.  I started watching the food I put in my mouth. True, I still have some financial issues and my son being gone and my dad passing still hurt more than I can express....but I can't control some of these.

Step 2: Foster the good stuff you CAN control. I started to cultivate and nurture my healthy relationships beginning with myself, moving onto my husband, children, my mother, my best friend and those friends that I really kept on the outside looking in.  I opened myself up a little bit. I did an in depth analysis of our finances.  I saw where we were needlessly spending money.  I saw where I could actually start working on paying old credit problems and get them off my credit report. I got a new job at a company that I LOVE!  The benefits are awesome, my coworkers rock and I can see me being here for a LONG time. I started walking and joined a gym.  I continue to organize my physical living space. And you know those issues I can't control?  I try my hardest to let them go.

Step 3: Maintain the balance while growing.  Not easy for sure.  But, I'm starting classes next month to pursue my graduate degree. I can't express just how much I LOVE learning.  I could be a professional student if I had unlimited financial resources. Kip and I are taking our first ever vacation...in twenty four years of marriage! I'm fostering some new relationships and fostering my place in my work life. I'm planning on doing a few 5K's this year. Mostly, I'm taking things with a little more of a grain of salt than I used to.

I'd like to see that these changes are starting to be noticed. I'm looking better.  I'm feeling better, physically and mentally. I have a confidence I never really had before.  And each day, I continue to try to take stock in my life and continue to keep things balanced.

2014 is the year for balance.