I guess my theme this year has been the trials and tribulations of relationships. This is any relationship: friendship, marriage, family, working. I've taken a lot of stock in things. In how my behavior in regards to some of those I interact with. In how I've allowed certain treatment to continue, even though detrimental to me. No one is similar enough that there is never conflict. And, I believe conflict in a relationship can create a stronger bond...it's certainly true for my marriage and for the relationship I have with the two women closest to me. It took a lot of work....A LOT OF WORK
I'm the kind of person who will work my hardest to find resolutions to conflicts that I have with people. In the beginning, I don't really look at where I might have acted/reacted different...I think that's human nature. We're wounded, our pride has been damaged, our minds are trying to process the events. It's all about YOU and what YOU did in the beginning. But I also believe through honest, open communication...you can get past this...you can get past the conflict and find a resolution and move forward. I've done with the woman I call my sister...now, we're not related at all....but I share EVERYTHING with her. It hasn't always been this way...we come from very, very different familial backgrounds...her view of my world is different and vise versa. We needed to work through some pretty weighty conflicts to get to a place where we can say "OK...this is a boundary item...I don't view this the way that you do...but I respect that you have good reasons for why you see it this way." We've also learned alot about taking responsibility for where we've fucked up....and we both have.
Sometimes, a conflict is deadly...you can't come back from it. I believe I have a few friendships this year that have taken that road. And sometimes what you need is someone new....or someone old who is new again...to show you that you are worthy of a better, healthier, more productive relationship. Sometimes someone you once wrote off will show you that people can change.
That gives me hope...hope that I'm changing in my interactions with others. Hope that maybe, someday, a few of the relationships I have had to step away from this year...can be repaired and stronger for the conflict.
