Hello Old Friend

After nearly a year away, I took a "stroll" along the one of the trails on Pineland Campus today.  I had stopped in mid-August during the oppressive heat.  When I originally started the Oak Hill Trail (I don't think I do the full 2.8k as it only takes me 47 minutes) it took me a whopping 58 minutes.  My goal last summer was to get this under 40 minutes...and then I would start to job portions of it....slowly working on that until I was running the whole trail.

Then the oppressive heat began.  I'd work until about 1pm and then decide to go for my walk...only to be waylaid by the tree in front of our office (see a post from last summer about my tree.) I'd lounge under that tree during my lunch break pondering my life and how I was doing in my life.  Always intent on going back to my walk in the woods, I had planned to begin walking the trail again in September.  Then the unimaginable happened...I broke my foot!  Recovery has been slow...I attempted the trail about a month ago only to have my ankle bother me on the uneven ground almost immediately.  Then yesterday, I went to walk around the parking lots and buildings here and decided that what I really wanted was my trail back!

Today was the day!  I filled my water bottle, took a quick stop in the ladies room and made my way out!  Determination setting my mood...I WAS going to do this today!  It's a little about the exercise and a lot about my piece of mind.  While walking and listening to my play list...I process....I think about the things in my life...what's going well, what's not.  Anything decisions I'm conflicted about get worked out here...I've missed this psychologically therapeutic exercise.  I've needed it.  Songs that have meaning to me can help bring clearer focus to something I'm conflicted about.  New people in my life can make an "old" song come alive.  People who are not longer apart of my life (whether by death, moving, or ending of friendships) come to mind as I hear songs that remind me of them.  I relieve good memories...good memories that can help with closure and help remove the bitterness of hurt feelings.

So, Hello old friend!  Same goal as last year...I think we're off to a good start as I finished in 47 minutes.  Only...can we do without the broken foot next year?

Thanks for taking time out of your busy, hectic lives to read a little bit into mine.  I'm always grateful for the feedback from you Dear Reader.

Conflict Resolutions

Sometimes, no matter how you try, conflict resolution just isn't possible.  We all enter conflicts believing WE are right and WE have all the facts....but the old adage says there are two sides to every story and the truth is somewhere in the middle. We bring into our conflicts our own emotional baggage and preconceived notions.  And unless we have a true understanding of what our emotional baggage is...we'll never see our part in the conflict.

I'm certainly not saying I don't have emotional baggage...my goodness...I think mine might sink the Titanic.  But I'm very aware of my emotional baggage.  I'm aware of my constant feeling of being left out, not being a part of the group.  Isn't this a major step in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs?  The need to belong?  I'm also over analytical to a fault....perhaps some of my blog helps illustrate that point.  I'm also a very, very serious person.  I simply don't know how to loosen up....it comes with carrying all that baggage.  And there is so much, much more...but I digress.

Because we go into conflict ready to battle, ready to change another person's mind...we tend to forget that maybe our mind needs to be changed...sometimes....there just is no middle ground.  Each side has viable facts, viable feelings, viable concerns.  It's in the mature relationships that each party can accept proper responsibility for their actions and promise to take care that it doesn't happen again.  When that can't happen...sometimes, the relationship is irrevocably broken.  Friendship destroyed, never to be regained.  Sometimes it's easier to swim with the current than to fight against it...against what will never change. 

Unfortunately, I think that's happened in my life very recently...when you remove all evidence that someone existed in your life (or when you realize someone has removed evidence of your existence)...it's a sad moment...sad for everyone involved.  No pictures, no emails, no cell phone numbers, no gifts, no facebook, nothing.  Sometimes that is the only way you can move on and begin to work on improving yourself.

Dear Reader, you've been following me through some interesting times in the last few years.  I am for ever grateful that you allow me into to your world for even just a little bit...this is my therapy.