WOE is me!

Beginning a new way of eating (WOE) isn't simple nor easy.  It really doesn't matter which program you're choosing.  If you're looking to make a lifestyle change, and not simply a diet that you'll forget about as soon as you've reached your goal....then you've got to do some work ahead of time.  You must research the way of eating, the theory behind it, the physiology, the science, and then, finally the mechanics of it. 


A ketogenic diet  was so much different than my "normal" (we'll wait to call this former) way of eating.  Restricting your net carbs to 25 (later in the week I changed that to 20) is hard to do.  It's easy to cut the carbs that are in front of your face: bread, pasta, dessert, alcohol.  What is more difficult is understanding the hidden carbs in almost every food you eat.  Fruits and veggies have natural sugar in them, and that gives them carbs!  Spinach has carbs, broccoli has carbs, green beans have carbs!  They are EVERYWHERE.  It's like a bad dream where you can't make turn without them taking over your day.   I knew to expect this. I read almost everything I could about this diet.  What foods to eat freely, what foods to eat in moderation, and what foods to avoid (all my favorites of course!)  And still....I was not as prepared as I thought I was....I needed supplements (magnesium and potassium), I needed oils, almond flour, coconut flakes, hemp seed, raw nuts, different types of meats.  My pantry and my refrigerator look completely different than they have ever looked.  They are filled with a small fortune of healthy food just right for my new WOE.

But you know what....Keto is hard!  I had the ingredients (and bought a few on the way) and I had the research.  I've made some pretty amazing meals (anything from omelets to variations of cauliflower rice).  And I saw that scale move....nearly 10 pounds in less than 2 weeks. Sure, sure...a lot of that is water weight, I get it.  But it still moved....A LOT!  Then....Saturday came along.....

I decided it was time to freshen up my pedicure and treat my mom to her first one ever.  The new salon I picked served a complimentary drink....I couldn't resist the offer of a glass of wine, even if it was white. And that sent my day totally and completely out of control!  Kip and I went out to dinner and while my dinner selection was keto friendly (bunless cheeseburger with salsa and a side of greenbeans) my drink selection was not...one beer, led to two beers.  Then we got home and it led to opening a fresh bottle of wine.  My body wanted the carbs so badly.  Just as I was hitting keto flu, I introduced a level of carbs my body hadn't seen in over a week and it stop my process in its tracks!  Sunday was a new day and I got back on track.

Monday saw the consequences of my reverting to old habits...I gained almost 2 pounds back that I had lost!  And it's not coming off as easily as it came back on.  But, I got back on track.  I noticed my fitbit syncing with myfitnesspal was sending my macros all over the place....so I quickly removed that functionality.  Keto is hard...but when I come downstairs in the morning, I don't have to take one step at a time.  I eat a large breakfast/lunch and am usually completed satiated until dinner time.  Keto is hard...but it's becoming a bit more easy as I go along.

I'll leave you with one of my breakfast/lunches from this past week.  I took leftover grilled chuck steak and sliced it thinly (4oz), I added 2oz of sliced green peppers, and 1.5 oz of sliced onions.  I sauteed this in 2 tbsp of coconut oil  Once the onions and peppers were cooked to my liking, I plated them and fried two eggs.  Overall this meal was 555 calories, 6g of carbs, 44g of fat, 37 grams of protein.

Discovering a whole new way of eating

Dear Reader

Full disclosure....I am clinically obese.  And by obese, I mean I am FAT!  I don't view this word negatively, unless I'm watching "Family Guy."  It is who I am, however, I do not let it define me.  I'm also short, curvy, sexy, smart and logical.  I have awesome hair, an amazing figure, and my boobs are a sight to behold.  All of my medical tests show me to be a very healthy fat person.  I do suffer from joint inflammation and pain which often ends up derailing any weight loss I try, simply because it hurts when I move.  I also suffer from boredom eating and really, really enjoy my wine!

A few weeks ago, I had this grand idea to buy a bicycle. Being over 250lbs, I'm extremely cognizant of weight restrictions....on EVERYTHING. I even ordered a $160 ladder for our pool because I was fearful of the flimsy one that came with it.  I'm over 40 and injury prone, I do not need to help that!  So, I found that most bicycles that you can buy at your local retail store have a weight restriction of 250lbs.  As of today, I weigh 276....something I am NOT proud of!  I was hesitant to buy a bike that I was simply too large for.  I was devastated and felt very ashamed of myself.  How did I let this happen?  But most importantly....how do I change this?!?!?!?

Enter a Keto diet.  In very simple terms, a keto diet is low in carbs, high in fat, and moderate in protein.  It is designed to turn your body into a fat burning machine, rather than a sugar burning machine.  It is similar to paleo in many ways, but it's still very different.  A good friend of mine introduced me to it not long after my bicycle discovery.  So, I researched it and found that this diet is commonly used to treat a variety of diseases including (but not limited to) epilepsy, diabetes, and cancer. I read real person accounts of how this diet has stopped joint inflammation, sleep apnea, and other obesity related ailments.  Keto is hard....at least right now it is.  It's taking your customary way of eat (WOE) and turning it upside down....if you decide to research and try this, you'll see what I mean when it promotes using lard and bacon fat.  Not to mention the dozens of eggs you'll find yourself eating.

I choose a start date of 8/1/2016.  It was my birthday and a Monday...so it just seemed appropriate.  After reading about induction flu (the flu like symptoms you experience as your body moves into ketosis), I found that a few side effects could affect my vertigo.  With a balance test scheduled for 8/9/2016, I decided to hold off on starting Keot until today, 8/8/2016.

I decided to begin with really watching my carbs, saying goodbye to some of my favorite non-Keto friendly foods (watermelon, pizza, pasta, alcohol, etc), and researching even more to discover recipes, tactics, etc.  I joined a keto challenge (you can find a lot of information on www.ketodietapp.com) and bought a few books.

I have enjoyed making some recipes including Almond Cashew Butter, Ghee (clarified butter), Bacon Olive Omelets, Bacon Egg Tomato Skillet and a few others.  I cleaned out my pantry of anything that could trip me up.  I bought expense coconut oil, almond oil, coconut flakes.  I'm drinking up to 100oz of water a day (some with a touch of Himalayan pink salt to help with electrolytes) and I'm going into this with an open mind.

I KNOW I'm going to struggle.  I know that evenings will be difficult for me.  I know that boredom eating will trip me up.  But I also know that I need to do this!  I need to fit on a bicycle and not worry about damaging the frame.  I need to know that I can sit comfortably on an airplane and not spill over into someone else's seat.  I need to know I can go to Hogwarts and Universal Studios and enjoy the rides!

I am a beautiful person with some very unique super powers.  I am not doing this to enhance my beauty...I am doing this to enhance my life!

So, stick with me dear reader and we'll journey together.  Feel free to nudge me when I haven't posted in awhile.  And when all else fails...keep your super hero buddies close by!

Disconnecting to Reconnect

Two children turning 18, one going into the US Navy. A parent passing away. Four moves in less than a year. Health scares. New job. Car problems. Graduate School. Terminally ill parent. And a special new baby being born.  That is a quick summary of the last 24 months.  A lot of stress and pressure to build up until your whole world bursts.

All it took was one week, seven days, to relieve that pressure. We left on May 9th, turned the data off on our phones and disconnected from our entire world.  No text messages, no emails, no facebook, no phone calls.  Just Kip and I. I expected a long week of bickering and disagreements.  I expected that our very varied interests wouldn't compliment each other and we'd spend time looking at each other wonder just what the hell to do next. After 27 years as a couple, and many of those surrounded by lots of other people, I feared that we just wouldn't know what to do with our self-imposed isolation from our world.

Every 5-10 years our relationship goes through another evolution.  The last one, we finally allowed ourselves to accept that we, and each other, were no longer that 14 girl and 17 year old boy. We allowed ourselves, and each other, to grow up...and discovered that we actually not only still loved each other but we LIKED each other.  This evolution was about the transition into our "middle ages."  Our nest will be empty.  Our parents are aging. After 20+ years of focused attention on two boys who needed our love, guidance and support...we know have a little less focus there.  Where does it go?  How do you cope with the next stage in your life?  Well, the answer is simple: TOGETHER.  We're not joined at the hip by any stretch of the imagination and enjoy many activities that the other does not.  But when it comes right down to it, we walk this path side by side. Sometimes I'm in front, sometimes Kip is in front, but when it matters we are hand in hand, side by side.

We disconnected from our world and reconnected with each other that further cements our solid foundation, mutual admiration and respect, and deep rooted, unwavering love.  I couldn't have asked for a better lifemate!

Milestones and the Empty Nest

Greetings Dear Reader!

Two posts in the same year....you must be wondering what the hell is going on in my head if I'm actually going to have a post two months apart!

Life is about learning and growing and moving on.  A lot of milestones and passages are occurring all around me, the last few years have been full of them! My best friend is having her first baby at the age of 47.  Yes, 47!!!  Believing that this was an experience she would never have, she was surprised to find out that she was 5 1/2 months pregnant.  The baby's expected delivery date is May 12th...my 24th wedding anniversary.  I guess I can't yell at her for not even getting us a card, huh?

My oldest will be twenty at the end of summer and is experiencing some adult joys and disappointments.  He's handling them with strength and grace. He hasn't been home in four months, not the longest absence, but still a long time to be away from home.  This time around, he's adapting more quickly.  He doesn't complain about hating his duty station or the general area as much as he did the first few times he came home.  Bittersweet, if you ask me.  I always want him to miss being home.  But I also want him to pave his own road, make his own and be independent.  Even if that means I am too far away to go running to his side when he has a car accident. (Yep, that did happen and thankfully, he was ok.  Still hurts when you can't check the boo boos yourself.)

That vacation I mentioned in my last post?  16 days away!!!  We won't have a carte blanche vacation.  But seriously, Kip and I are fairly low maintenance and don't need to eat at the best places, buy the "expensive" jewelry or take that submarine dive.  We just need time to disconnect and be us.  It's the perfect way to culiminate a tough two years.

Graduate school...OH MY GOD!  I didn't realize just how taxing it would be.  I'm nearly done my first class, and truthfully, I should be preparing my power point presentation rather than blogging.  But I have learned so much in six weeks! I can't wait to see what the rest of this program brings.

The biggest milestones happening in our life this year are that our youngest son is turning 18 (in a few days) and going to college.  I'm not sure which surprises me more. That he actually made it to 18 without me damaging him or that he's going to college!  He was not the child I expected to go to college.  He's barely making it through high school.  We had a tour of his school last week and I've got to say, I'm really impressed.  Mostly with him. He's really matured a lot in the last few years.  He's more of a responsible adult than most of the people five to ten years older than him.  He has a lot of growing and learning left to do...but he's really pulled himself around and I don't think I need to worry as much.  I'll still worry, I am a mom after all...just not about as much.

We'll have an "empty nest."  Our boys will be far enough away that planning days in advance needs to occur.  No quick trips up the road to get that hug from both of them.  That will be the hardest part for me.  But, I know that this is a normal progression and I am most certainly not the first mom to deal with it. We'll have an empty nest, but never an empty heart.  We've passed as much knowledge and experience on as we could...now it's time for both of our boys....no, our young men....to see what they can do with it.  To so what they can experience and learn.  Fly high and safe...and never forget where your nest is!

Balance

Hello dear Reader,  it's been awhile, I know.  Suffice it to say that June 2012 to November 2013 was a very, very trying time for me.  Finances were a mess.  We moved not once, not twice, not three times...but four times. I got diagnosed with degenerative disc disease after being in excruciating pain for weeks. I finally quit that horrible company I worked for.  I started a new job. My oldest son entered his adulthood by joining the US Navy.  And perhaps most importantly, my father passed away.

Life sucked.  Nothing seemed to be good. Everything was crashing down around me and I didn't know where to turn. Some friendships turned out to be very disappointing.  The loss of my dad and my oldest son, my "mini me," leaving for his new adventures left me looking at the rest of my life and wondering just what the hell was I going to do.  How to move forward? How to make sense of all the chaos?

Balance was the key....I needed to find balance. I needed to balance the good with the bad.  I need to take an inventory of people, things, stuff in my life and see where each lay.  And I found that so much stuff was on the bad side that I was constantly falling off my personal, metaphysical, balance beam.

Step 1: Remove the bad stuff you CAN control.  I ended some relationships that were very toxic. I tackled some financial stuff. I ended employment with a company that cared less about it's human capital than a Chinese sweatshop. I uncluttered my life physically by getting rid of unwanted stuff in my living space. I stopped a lifestyle choice that wasn't working for me or my family.  I started watching the food I put in my mouth. True, I still have some financial issues and my son being gone and my dad passing still hurt more than I can express....but I can't control some of these.

Step 2: Foster the good stuff you CAN control. I started to cultivate and nurture my healthy relationships beginning with myself, moving onto my husband, children, my mother, my best friend and those friends that I really kept on the outside looking in.  I opened myself up a little bit. I did an in depth analysis of our finances.  I saw where we were needlessly spending money.  I saw where I could actually start working on paying old credit problems and get them off my credit report. I got a new job at a company that I LOVE!  The benefits are awesome, my coworkers rock and I can see me being here for a LONG time. I started walking and joined a gym.  I continue to organize my physical living space. And you know those issues I can't control?  I try my hardest to let them go.

Step 3: Maintain the balance while growing.  Not easy for sure.  But, I'm starting classes next month to pursue my graduate degree. I can't express just how much I LOVE learning.  I could be a professional student if I had unlimited financial resources. Kip and I are taking our first ever vacation...in twenty four years of marriage! I'm fostering some new relationships and fostering my place in my work life. I'm planning on doing a few 5K's this year. Mostly, I'm taking things with a little more of a grain of salt than I used to.

I'd like to see that these changes are starting to be noticed. I'm looking better.  I'm feeling better, physically and mentally. I have a confidence I never really had before.  And each day, I continue to try to take stock in my life and continue to keep things balanced.

2014 is the year for balance.

My Eulogy for My Dad

Michael A Mitchell

9/28/1951 - 4/21/2013

My Dad

My father will not be read about on the news or in the history books.  There will be no eulogies from celebrities and no paparazzi sneaking snapshots of those in attendances today.  But my father was a great man.

When I think of my father, I think of the middle child of eleven children.  A man who lost his brother and father before the age of 25.  A man of meager means, but full of heart.  A man who struggled between who he was and who he wanted to be and how to get there.  He loved greatly and never gave up on anyone.  He instilled in me the qualities such as: unconditional love, compassion, integrity, hard work, devotion, humor and security.

My father left a piece of him in everyone he touched.  When I look at all of you, I see bits of my father everywhere.  I see brothers and sisters with that all too familiar Mitchell snout and huge smile.  I see a family bonded together by undying love.  When I look at Michael, I see the dreamer.  The get rich quick plans like rubbermaid garage door with automatic garage door opener.  Dad probably thought of this way back in the 70's when my  "precocious" toddler brother "drove" the car through my Grandpa Well's garage door.

When I look at Charlie, I actually see my dad at 34, when I was 11.  That big smile, Mitchell nose, beautiful thick hair and twinkle in his eyes when he's up to no good.

When I look at Victoria, I see the stubbornness.  Oh, the stubbornness! Even to the end he said "We have to do this MY way."  Victoria, use this stubbornness to help you get the things that truly, truly matter in life.

When I look at Matthew, I see the jokester.  The desire to lighten up any situation, to elicit an infections smile.  The message is that life is too short to take anything, but especially ourselves, too seriously.  When I look at Aaron, I see not just the dreamer but the do-er.  Before Aaron embarked on his adulthood with the Navy, I could always count on him to get stuff done.  The do-er with a dream of great things and the means to get them done.

As each of you say your final good byes to my dad, think of the part of him that he left with you.  KNow that even at the end of his journey, he still was a dreamer, eye-twinkler, stubborn, do-er, jokester.

Thankful

It's been a year where it's been difficult to find something to be thankful for at times...looking at the bright side was becoming exhausting, even depressing.  I spent so much time thinking of ways to lift those around me up, that I lost track of lifting myself up as well.  It's been a year of big, big changes.  Most notably, our oldest son graduated high school, turned 18, oh...and entered the United States Navy.  My mini-me...one quarter of our family, one quarter of the balance in our little family has moved out of our nest.  And I use nest "loosely" because at the time that most of this was happening...we were living in my best friend's basement...unfinished basement.

It's been a humbling year...and we're not done yet.  We've (hopefully) hit the financial rock bottom...decades of bad money  management caught up with us.  I've started a new job...but have been seen as the "dumb one" in the position.  My children have made huge accomplishments that magnified that they are rapidly moving on towards their next chapter...adulthood.  I've been told I was loved but treated like I wasn't more than gum on the bottom of a shoe.  I've had to move my father into a home separate from mine for the first time in eight years.  I've had two "adopted" children bond to my heart only to leave on their own paths.  I've made some serious mistakes...and have had some serious slaps in the face.

And through it all...I've had the most important thing in front of me....I've had the most important people in my life.  A handful of close friends, and a new friend, who don't cease to make me smile.  My mother in law...once upon a time, I thought she hated me.  Now, I'm proud to say she's my "Mom in law"....emphasis on MOM.  My parents...both ill in their own way...wouldn't hesitate to talk to me when I'm upset or pat my back when they think I've done good.  They would never kick me when I'm down and the rest of the world is taking it's kidney shots.  My children...my god, I don't even know where to start...both funny, intelligent boys with sparkling personalities (no they are not vampires!) and huge ambitions.  Both would step in front of a bullet for me, and I them.  And most importantly, my husband....twenty five years and going strong.  Twenty five tough years of learning and growing, fighting and loving...and through it all...I get to sleep at night with my best friend...the only person on this earth that truly gets to see the "real" me.

So, while I've had a lot to not be thankful for....I still have the most important things that I need to honor today...and every day.